Posted by h3xtacy on Jun 16, 2026
*edited to incluce credit to Benjamin Hunter
Ruminating on what it means to be part of a living, networked social organism and how we are shaped by and, mycelial-like, are outgrowths of our communities regardless of if that community is healthy or caring or not.
After being unemployed from mid September to April my festival season started with a gig working for Northwest Folklife. This year’s theme was Ubuntu, which means “I am because we are”. (Gratitude to Folklife's Artistic Director Benjamin Hunter for giving me the definition of ubuntu) The concept of being an extension of your community is not unusual outside of western cultures, and is proven by western science methods to be true as well, though the individualist focus of western culture pretends it isn’t true.
Are my failures and anxieties also the failures and anxieties of my community? Is my lack of connection only complex PTSD or the natural result of an unwell culture? If how we as a culture treat the most vulnerable members of our society is a reflection of who we are then we are uglier and crueler than Dorian Grey’s hidden portrait.
It is currently full Pride season and I am in the middle of a gig doing manual labor for the World Cup in Seattle because that’s the only kind of work I get hired for here. The majority of the local Pride events are unsafe, unwelcoming, or inaccessible to me so I won't be attending unless the event is paying me to staff it.
Will changing where I live make my situation better or worse? I don’t know, but my options in Seattle for stability and personal growth are slim and while going through several crises in the past couple years it became apparent that when things are difficult for me very few people can or care to help, and (no shade to the people who have genuinely helped and supported me, you’ve done a great job) those who do help often make it worse or calitalize on it.
After spending years trying to create cultures of connection and mutual aid here in the place I grew up; leading and supporting many projects and organizing somewhat successfully for decades this is disappointing and depressing. I would like to be able to feel safe and supported and connected in my home. Unfortunately all evidence points to that being a fantasy that will never be realized and my goal is to be gone from Seattle by next Spring and hopefully spend time healing myself.
Some places I will be in the near future:
I will be leading some Exquisite Corpse Game Board Making at the Queer Games Showcase at SIM.
Am working on a project with some great collaborators for the Seattle Design Festival in August that hopefully makes transgender healthcare access data available to a wider audience.
This glitched photograph of Salmonberry flowers was submitted to an Indigiqueer zine. Maybe it ends up in physical space. Until then it exists only in our screens.
